“I am not okay, but it doesn’t mean I have to cry about it.”

 I feel so alone, like a loner(literally). I want to be able to eat and actually enjoy eating my food. But I don’t have anyone to eat with. My parents kicked me out, I don’t have a family here (I do have relatives here), I don’t have friends in my “new school”, My friends from my “old school” are too far from my “new school”, I miss my high school friends also. I’m so depressed that I only eat when I’m around my friends. I’m so depressed that I don’t feel like eating even when I’m hungry. When I’m in my apartment/bachelor’s pad, I just lie down and go online, wait for my boyfriend(who’s also not here) to text or call me. I’m so depressed that I don’t even feel like talking to anyone about this that’s why I’m blogging about it. I don’t want to drag people down with my negativity. This depression is kind of different from my depression before. I feel like I should just live with it even if I don’t deserve this. Although, some people think I do. But they really don’t know the whole story of my life because they don’t listen to me and they’re not in my position. I love being alone, but not when I’m lonely. 

I was supposed to blog about what I’m going to do tomorrow, like clean my place and do yoga but I ended up typing this.